UPDATE: Closed Sunday, January 19th due to furnace issues!

Our food is 100% vegan and made from scratch, with love. 
Check out the menus below.

All food (even our plant-based meat and cheeze!) is prepared in-house with the exceptions of our bread, which comes from Lucky Cat Bakery in Granville, Ohio; our desserts, which come from Doughasis, also in Granville, Ohio; and our tortillas, which come from Koki's Tortillas, in the Hilltop neighborhood of Columbus, Ohio. 

  • REGULAR MENU is available during our regular hours Tuesday to Friday, and after 3pm on Saturdays. 
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  • FRIDAY NIGHT MENU (starting at 5pm), we have a vegan pizza menu in addition to our regular menu.
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  • WEEKEND MENU (10am–3pm) we have a ridiculously special vegan brunch menu.
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Owner Eric Obenauf is our unicorn-level self-taught vegan chef. Because he loves food as much as he loves books, he frequently dreams up delicious new dishes and mixes up the menu. If you have any questions about the food or would like to make a special request, please give us a call (614-725-1505) or shoot us an email via the contact form or (twodollarradioHQ at gmail dotcom). Thank you and enjoy!

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REGULAR MENU
(available during our regular hours Tues.–Fri.; after 3pm on Sat. Updated 12/19/2019)

GF = Gluten-free | NF = Nut-free | SF = Soy-free

MUNCHIES

  • Munchables — $5 — Rotating selection of house-made sliced vegan meats and cheeses, with fruit, and a biscuit.  (Contains cashews.)
  • Buffalo Mac ‘n’ Cheeze — $7 — Gluten-free maccheroni tossed in buffalo queso with sauteed veggies, topped with smoked gouda shreds. GF (Contains cashews)

THE TORTUGAS YOUR MOTHER WARNED YOU ABOUT

Some might call it a quesadilla, others a crunchwrap supreme. We call it by it’s rightful name: El Tortuga. All tortugas are wrapped in a Koki's flour burrito tortilla and baked, not fried.

  • Walnut Chorizo Tortuga — $8 — Walnut chorizo with charred cabbage, jalapenos, tomatoes, and cheeze. (Contains cashews + walnuts)
  • Taco Mac 'n' Cheeze Tortuga — $8.50 — Buffalo mac and cheeze with seasoned beef and jalapenos. (Contains cashews)
  • Breakfast Tortuga — $7 — Tofu scramble, coconut bacon, cheeze, and jalapenos. (Contains cashews)

WRAPS — $10

Served with a choice of Salad, Soup, or Potato Salad.

All cheezes contain cashews.

  • Rad Racing Barbecue Chick'n Wrap Beer-battered seitan “chick’n” patty that’s like a slo-mo dance-off (delightful): barbecue sauce, jalapeños, charred cabbage, scallion cheddar cheeze spread, creamy lemon tahini, and lettuce, wrapped in a tortilla. (contains cashews)
  • Jean Claude van Randy Wrap — Seven layers plus one more layer bb! Seasoned ground “beef,” buffalo queso, pickled onion, tomatoes, quinoa, remoulade, and lettuce, wrapped in a tortilla. (contains cashews)
  • The Morning After Randy Saw the Flaming Lips at the Henry Miller Memorial Library, Big Sur, CA 2006 (Breakfast Burrito) — Tofu scramble, “sausage,” cheeze, tomato, jalapenos, quinoa, remoulade, and lettuce, wrapped in a tortilla. (contains cashews) 

SANDWICHES — $11

Served with a choice of Salad, Soup, or Potato Salad.

All cheezes contain cashews.

  • Second Pair of Black Jeans Eggplant Po' Boy — Take a jaunt down to the Garden District farmer’s market with this winning po' boy: Battered & baked eggplant with lettuce, tomato, chili-lime slaw, and a zingy, zesty remoulade sauce. SF NF
  • Buffa-Chicky BLT — Beer-battered seitan “chick’n” patty baked in red hot sauce, with dill havarti cheeze, coconut bacon, lettuce, tomato, and farmhouse ranch dressing. (contains cashews)
  • Chai Fieri’s Quid Pro Quo Sausage Sammy — House-made “sausage” with scallion cheddar cheeze spread, charred cabbage, tomatoes, and pickled onions with creamy lemon tahini on a hoagie bun. (contains cashews)

  •  Newer Bay Chickpea Cake Sammy — Chickpea and corn cakes, scallion cheddar cheeze spread, lettuce, sundried tomatoes, and zesty remoulade on multigrain bread. (contains cashews)

PLATEFULS (Meals, Tacos & Salads)

  • The Eliminator $12 — The final American Gladiator event: Buffalo Mac & Cheeze topped with your choice of Eggplant or Chick’n Parmigiana, served with a side salad. (contains cashews)

  •  Orange County Chickpea Cake & Sundried Tomato Salad $11 — Chickpea and corn cakes with sundried tomatoes, cucumbers, chili-lime slaw, pickled onions, pepitas, and creamy lemon tahini dressing. NF SF

  • Tres Tacos Hermanos $10 — Seasoned “beef,” buffalo queso, pickled onions, chili-lime slaw, and remoulade on 3 4” corn tortillas. Served with Salad or Soup. GF (contains cashews)

  • Walnut Chorizo Tacos $10 — Walnut chorizo, scallion cheddar cheeze spread, jalapenos, charred cabbage, pepitas and creamy lemon tahini dressing on 3 4” corn tortillas. Served with Salad or Soup. GF SF (contains cashews + walnuts)

  • Cobb Salad — $8  Coconut bacon, onions, tomatoes, and pepitas with our farmhouse ranch dressing. NF GF (Add Fried Chick'n [not gluten-free] — +$3)

SIDES & PASTRIES

  • Side Salad — $3 — Greens with farmhouse ranch dressing, pickled onion, tomatoes, and pepitas. GF NF
  • Soup du Jour — $3 (cup) / $5 (bowl) — Rotating selection of soup.
  • Doughasis Brownie — $4.50
  • Doughasis Muffin du Jour — $3.50
  • Doughasis Cinnamon Roll — $5

KIDDOS — $5

Served with Potato Salad.

  • Chick'n Strips
  • Peanut Butter & Jelly

PIZZA PARTY MENU (while supplies last)
(Fridays, 5pm to close! Last updated 12/13/2019)

We make our pizza dough, mozzarella cheeze, vegan meats, and sauces all in-house, from scratch.
Our mozzarella cheeze contains CASHEWS.
All pies feature red marinara sauce except Speed Dog's Spicy Adventure.
Pizzas are 9”.

Chris Konitzer is Coming Home for Christmas $14
Buffalo chick’n, pickled onions, remoulade.

Vegan Picnic Basket $14
Chick’n, chili-lime slaw, potato salad.

BLTZA $12
Coconut bacon, lettuce, tomato, farmhouse ranch.

Tommy Ten Grand’s Intern’s “Grand Idea” $12
Seasoned “beef,” sauteed veggies, remoulade.

Anna Maria $13
Eggplant, sundried tomatoes, pickled onions.

Tommy Ten Grand’s Epic Half-Marathon $13
Sausage, sauteed leeks.

Drunk Publicist $13
Slow-roasted jackfruit carnitas, sauteed veggies, jalapenos, chili-lime slaw, barbecue sauce drizzle.

Kevin McAllister $10 (+toppings)
Traditional cheeze ’za with your choice of toppings!


BRUNCH MENU
(Saturdays and Sundays, 10am–3pm! Last updated 12/14/19)

Loaded Breakfast Tortuga $12
Some might call it a quesadilla, others a crunchwrap supreme. We call it by its rightful name: El Tortuga. Tofu scramble, Banh “meat” “sausage,” sauteed veggies, jalapenos and cheeze stuffed in a tortilla and baked, then topped with hollandaise sauce. Served with breakfast potatoes and a salad.

#1 Breakfast Burrito #1 $11
Tofu scramble, potatoes, Banh “meat” “sausage,” smoked gouda cheeze, sauteed veggies, barbecue sauce, greens, and quinoa all wrapped up in a Koki’s flour tortilla. Served with a side salad, or potato salad.

Baja Breakfast Huevos $11
Tofu scramble, refried beans, sweet potatoes, buffalo queso, cowboy caviar, avocado, pickled onions, and lime and chipotle aioli over a bed of quinoa and greens. gf

Speed Dog’s Wild Mountain Yawp Sausage-Biscuit Sammy $13
House-made seitan “sausage” with Vermont scallion cheddar cheeze spread, sauteed leeks, and chipotle-maple aioli on a biscuit. Served with sides of breakfast potatoes and cheezy tofu scramble.

Hungover Publicist Biscuits & “Sausage” Gravy
Fresh-made biscuits and gravy. Add a side of breakfast potatoes + $2. sf
1 Biscuit - $4
2 Biscuits - $7

Jean Claude van Randy Burrito or Plate $10
7 layers plus one more layer bb! Seasoned “beef,” buffalo queso, quinoa, avocado, tomato, sauteed veggies, lettuce, and aioli wrapped up in a Koki’s burrito tortilla. (plate = gf)

Buffalo Mac ‘n’ Cheeze $7
Gluten-free fusilli tossed in buffalo queso with sauteed veggies and baked, topped with smoked gouda. gf

Cinnamon Roll $5

Peanut Butter Brownie $4 gf
Muffin $3.50

 

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COFFEE & TEA (view menu)
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BAR (view menu)
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